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Joke of the Day

"TBS is going to air CS:GO next year. What should TNT host? League of Legends. Because they know drama."

"What do you call a midget with a dildo on backwards? Shrimp cocktail."

"What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint? McLady."

"Interviewer: ""What did you like best about your last job?"" Me: ""Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."""

"Catherine Zeta-Jones was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder half of the time she is Zeta, the other half shes Jones"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place."

"Just saw a car with ""Just Married"" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean.."

"My relationship status: Waiting for a miracle."

"In hell, you have to listen to chicks fully explain a movie, scene by scene."