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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a midget with a dildo on backwards? Shrimp cocktail."
Next Joke
"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."
"My neighbor is Indian and every night when he comes home he punches his wife... 6:30 pm, right on the dot."
"Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, ""If only I could hear this."""
"My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now"
"Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn't happen by 40 I'll just start running at random strangers."
"What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ? Wok n' Roll"
"Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass murder."
"nurse: are you allergic to any medicine? me: laughter nurse: hahaha. OH MY GOD- me [face swelling up]: i thold thou."
"When a friend asks you to keep her pregnancy on down low, you say Mum's the word"