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Joke of the Day

"I left work yesterday at 4:59 instead of 5:00 I was technically leaving early, but the difference was minute."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh."

"My husband asked what Vine was while reading a BOOK. Hahaha 1910 called, it wants its intellect strengthening form of entertainment back!"

"A guy walks into a doctor's office... ...with corn in his ears, a carrot shoved up his nose and a potato in his butt. Doctor says, ""Buddy, you're not eating right..."""

"Trump interrupted Hilary Clinton up to 51 times in the first debate: Even grammer nazis interrupted fewer."

"A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off. He is now a registered sex offender."

"I got in from the pub and poured myself a glass of water. ""You're drunk, aren't you?"" said a disappointed voice behind me. ""What makes you say that, honey?"" I asked. She said, ""This isn't your house."""

"What type of dog leaves a mark? shar pei"

"Ok, another Grandfather joke. Just kidding, they're both dead."

"How did Popeye buy long sleeve shirts?"