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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me how much we would spend at our wedding. Me: I don't want to spend very much. Her: I want it to be a ten thousand dollar wedding. Me: Okay, so you, can do that then."

Next Joke
 
"Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat? The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!"
"Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!"
"What's blue and doesn't fit any more? A dead epileptic."
"You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse."
"Why do people ask ""what the hell were you thinking""? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it"
"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He doesn't want to get nailed to the Boards."
"If you're happy and you know it, share your meds"
"It's quite appropriate that fast food cashiers... often open with ""sorry for the weight""."
"Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word ""crap""."