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Joke of the Day

"Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word ""crap""."

"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Its hips."

"A tapdancer walks into a room and looks at the floor. ""I'd tap that."""

"I think we figured out which one was Destiny's child."

"What about ""BusinessMyspace""? Nah, it's taken. Okay, what about ""LinkedIn""?"

"What if birds have tiny human-like ears underneath their feathers? That's certainly something to think about, but not during sex."

"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"

"What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other? Li Ning"

"What's the difference between the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presedential race? The Olympic competitors are qualified."

"If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?"