169841

Joke of the Day

"Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. it's only fair since you're getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also.."

"As a literalist, I can't watch porno... There's too many holes in the plot. I thought of this while reading a reddit comment section, so thank you reddit :)"

"Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google."

"Pull all of your money out of Pepto-Bismol stocks immediately. There's some real liquidity problems over there."

"When life gives you financial troubles... Make Financialade."

"A man went to the movie.. A man went to the movie theater's ticket window a second time and said, ""One more."" ""For The Hobbit?"" the ticket vendor asked. ""No,"" the man replied, ""That's my girlfriend."""

"what do a nun and a public defender have in common? neither one can get you off"

"A Roman walks into a bar an orders a martinus. ""You mean a martini?"" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted more than one I would have said martini"""

"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...and so I bite."