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Joke of the Day

"Can I go to a spa and hire someone to pop the pimples on my back? Like what do single people do about back pimples?"

"What did the colon tell the large intestine after several hours' worth of diarrhoea? ""Get your shit together"""

"Why did the Redneck cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken."

"What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller's Day Off"

"I ask myself, ""How did I get here?,"" I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower."

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two."

"A little jewish girl was playing with an ashtray... Hitler comes in and says: ""Are you looking for someone?"""

"Did you hear the one about the falling eggs? It will crack you up I'll just go now"

"Did you hear about the sale of lesbian beds at IKEA? No nuts or screwing; just tongue in groove"

"Have you seen how expensive balloons are lately? Bloody inflation."