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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if a black woman is pregnant? All the cotton has been picked from her tampon."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. *I'm sorry I couldn't resist.*"

"So I told my girlfriend... ""Hey, wanna try anal?"" She lost her shit on me."

"Off to work... A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"If Isaac Newton discovered gravity Why isn't he in the credits? (Crossposted from /r/shittyaskscience)"

"I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream."

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"It seems women are not content with just being women these days. First there was Beyonce with ""If I was a boy"" now there is this Bieber chick with ""If I was your boyfriend"""

"You could kidnap my mom and she'd still ask if you've eaten."

"Glad my car insurance company requires a 10 character password to log-in. Wouldn't want someone to hack in and...pay my insurance bill"