168286

Joke of the Day

"If Isaac Newton discovered gravity Why isn't he in the credits? (Crossposted from /r/shittyaskscience)"

"Don't do suicide, kids! You'll kill yourself!"

"Why are titties like toy trains? They are meant for children but daddy likes to play with them, too."

"I like my women like I like my Africa Undeveloped"

"When you watch Jersey Shore, Darwin cries."

"Did you hear about the two bros who travelled around the world while high? It was a joint venture."

"Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord Of The Rings? He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks."

"What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff."

"Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump."

"Remember... You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose."