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Joke of the Day

"I went to Thailand... Saw a hot girl in the bar. I kept telling myself ""don't get a erection, don't get a erection"". After 5 mins, it happened.. She got a erection"

"I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday."

"Pot smokers like to say it's safe because it's natural. Other safe natural things include sunburn, poison ivy, and being eaten by a bear."

"After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family."

"knock knock nice try kiddo, i'm homeless"

"What does a girl from Kentucky say after sex? Git off me Pa. You crushin ma Copenhagen"

"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"

"Hamlet gets a cough So, Hamlet is admitted to a hospital for a cough. He asks the doctors: ""TB or not TB"""

"What came first the ch- Neutrino."

"F*ck nudes. Send me a picture of your medicine cabinet. I need to know what kind of psycho I'm dealing with."