150543

Joke of the Day

"Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??"

"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."

"What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea? An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week."

"A message to all you deceased American voters... Vote Early, and Vote Often."

"Little kid next to me on a plane just ate the preservative packet out of his jerky, looked at me and said, ""Don't tell my mom."""

"Superbowl Champion Minnesota Vikings"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity **It's impossible to put down**"

"Shoutout to Amy Winehouse She's been drug free for 5 years now"

"What is it called when you're looking for a body killed by a mortician? Formaldehyde and seek!"

"BREAKING NEWS: North Korea may test a missil on April 10. They just need to find a gigantic bottle of Coke and a huge Mento."