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Joke of the Day

"Why is the letter T like an island? Because its in the middle of water!!!"

"Why are assholes always more successful than you? Because they make shit happen."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a plane crash. Who survives? Not the joke."

"I used to think alcohol silenced the voices in my head until I realised it had just moved them to my mouth."

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich."

"I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people."

"Let me be clear, I don't want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment."

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"What's black and full of holes? Michael Brown"

"What did the dog say before he died? Well I'll be dog-gone."