150426

Joke of the Day

"Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011."

"If I had a dollar for every time Donald Trump denied something... Then I too would have a small loan of 1 million dollars"

"Sometimes you just have to be straight up with people or they will expect you to bend over backwards."

"I hope it's true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who's alive."

"I was going to post a joke about radical Islam... but I feel that would be self-destructive"

"Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan."

"Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere."

"Saw a grown man riding down the street on a BMX. I yelled what does BMX stand for? He replied ""DUI""."

"Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot."

"What kind of car does George W. Bush drive? Porsche 9-11"