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Joke of the Day

"What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life? Smallpox"

"What do you call a doll with a fiddle and a hatred of Jews? A Doll Fiddler"

"wife: I was saving that me [eating bacon] It expires today *wife checks package* *sees I crossed out the date and wrote ""today""*"

"A sexy radical feminist walks out of a civil rights meeting with blood on her hands... ... When asked what happened, she replied: ""a small issue came up, and we had to cut it short"""

"Guys, how can you tell the girl your having sex with is faking an orgasm? Who cares."

"What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more? Philip Hoffman's belt."

"I'd like to see every photograph where I'm just someone passing in the background."

"For a week I've been telling my kid ""If your cough isn't better tomorrow, you're going to the doctor!"" and it finally worked. (She died.)"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all."