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Joke of the Day

"Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked ""You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?"

"A: Knock knock... B: Who's there? A: Gas station security, you tore down a poster in a bathroom, give us the money in your wallets or we'll shoot you"

"I finally started writing the book on herbs I've been putting off for so long, I guess it's.. :looks directly at the camera: ""About thyme"""

"Do you know why Turkey couldn't see the solar eclipse? It's been censored there."

"What did Hugh Hefner say when he got to heaven? meh"

"I was told getting a tongue piercing would help me with oral sex... I still can't reach it..."

"A black man and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? The cop"

"What's the difference between Americans and Brits? Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time."

"Exercise can add years to your life. This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month."

"Ever since Jim got cancer, he's been feeling really crabby"