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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start? Well first I created the sun then the earth..."

"The sign down the highway said ""Don't be a turkey, don't text and drive"" They misspelled vegetable."

"There's two things I hate in this world 1) People who can't count"

"The difference between Indiana and California In Indiana there are lots of budding young farmers. In California there are lots of young bud farmers."

"I told my cat all about Chairman Mao this morning Now she won't shut up about him!"

"I saw two lesbians kissing in the park. ""There's a time and a place for that,"" I told my wife. She said, ""Yeah..."" I said, ""It's 9pm and my house."""

"Pretty sure the only reason we keep pay phones around are so movie villains can give the main protagonist their next set of instructions"

"Coach Krzyzewski thinks he's playing wheel of fortune... ""I'd like to buy a foul"""

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery."