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Joke of the Day
"What do you do if you see a space man? (my favorite one liner ever) you park your car in it, man"
Next Joke
"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"
"Me: Cleaning up is a superpower. Don't you want to be a superhero? 5-year-old: I'll just be a bad guy."
"What do you call it when a photo of gay lovers falls from the wall and shatters into two pieces, tearing them apart? Broke back-mounting."
"Jon Snow is an idiot He should've just given their watch back when they asked."
"Life is like a box of chocolates.... it doesn't last as long for fat people."
"I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911."
"""Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."""
"How do you stop the Polish army on horseback? You turn off the carousel."
"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken anything for it?"