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Joke of the Day

"coworker: did you hear someone used all the charity money to buy snacks from the vending machine me: *laughing nervously* that's awful"

"Reddit is like my ideal woman with double D's"

"Where did Suze go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"Is light a wave or a particle? Yes"

"Two bitches walk into a bar. The bartender says there's a collar for both of you."

"I like my women like I like my toasters... Two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen."

"I once unknowingly dated a transvestite ignoring all the clues Such as her name being Amanda."

"What's James bonds fettish? Bondage"

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in South Carolina? Cause if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush."

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"