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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: we need to work on YOU taking responsibility for YOUR actions Me: *pulls a flask out* WHO PUT THIS IN MY PURSE?"

"I was once told I run like a gazelle But the guy who said it was in a wheelchair, so I took it with a grain of salt."

"Two hookers talking. One ask the other. Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? To which the other replies No, but I've been swung around by the tits."

"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!"

"What weapons do pengiuns have? Pen-guinades."

"Nepal: ""just like awkwardly stack two triangles to make our flag"" All the other countries have rectangles ""TWO TRIANGLES"" Alright ok fine"

"Steve Irwin lived as he died With animals firmly in his heart"

"What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)"

"hear about the gay indian? he's a brave sucker...."

"What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs? The bikings."