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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him."

"If I ever shot the sheriff, I'd probably go ahead and shoot the deputy too. Along with any other witnesses, because at that point why not."

"Last night I masturbated over my ex-girlfriend. I know it's not right, but she's a heavy sleeper and I still have a key."

"Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming."

"What's Jewish and runs? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank"

"I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be."

"I like my men how I like my cheesecake, rich and straight to my behind."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the Fresh Prints"

"Atheism... ...is a non-prophet organization."

"What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its hips."