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Joke of the Day

"Someone called me a horse today... I just looked at him and said ""Nay!"""

"What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time-consuming."

"[college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?"

"My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry. I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face."

"Every now and then I see something that brings a little tear to my eye. Last night it was my wife wearing her strap on."

"BF: Will you marry me? GF: Do we have to live together? BF:"

"Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads? Because every morning they wake up thinking ""What *is* that noise? Oh, right, *of course* !"""

"Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets"

"Frozen... Text Message from Wife: Windows frozen. Won't Open. Husband: Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows. Wife: Computer really messed up now. Nothing works."

"Why did Bowie die? I guess he was shot through the heart"