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Joke of the Day

"""daddy why did the moon turn red?"" ""because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"""

"Forever 21... pounds overweight"

"What did one ameoba say to the other ameoba? Go fuck yourself."

"Shout out to all the sassy receptionists out there. I won't even go near businesses that don't have sassy as hell receptionists."

"Whats the difference between catholic priests and acne? One doesn't come on your face until your at least 13"

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come onto a boy's face until he's 13."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years.... I don't have 2020 vision."

"I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year Roll on 2017"

"What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza? ~A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"" Fucking b*tch."