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Joke of the Day

"ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary"

"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."

"What do you call a lesbian that turned straight A hasbien"

"So I was walking down the street... and this guy with premature ejaculation just came out of nowhere."

"I had a frozen apple for lunch today It was hardcore"

"Where do retired pigs go for warm weather? The tropigs!"

"I'm writing a book called ""Stop Overreacting"". If you guys don't buy it I'm going to kill myself."

"What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes? It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!"

"What kind of papers do dogs write? A ruff draft."

"Collection There was some guy collecting the waste from the urinals at work today. I think he was taking the piss to be honest."