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Joke of the Day

"I Have plenty of girls who can suck, I'm looking for the one who can blow my mind."

"I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it's wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it."

"April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared."

"I have never in my life tried to pronounce an L so hard than when asking my dad for the ""caulk"""

"There are three kinds of people... The ones who say the glass is half full, The ones who say the glass is half empty, And the one who thinks you should have gotten a smaller glass."

"BANG BANG! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it? A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself."

"What did the left eye say to the right eye? Just between you and me, something smells down there."

"What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice? The Spanish Inquisition."

"Ppl who make fun of outfit repeating? I look bomb af so I'm gonna wear this again I'll even wear it to your funeral if you keep talking shit"

"If a leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."