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Joke of the Day

"What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me"

"What did the 0 say to the 8? ""Nice fuckin' belt."""

"Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"Why couldn't the bike stand on its own? It was two tired"

"When is the best time to eat fast food? *Fri*day!"

"The one redeeming thing about wearing a Women's Size 10 shoe is that everyone naturally assumes my dick is enormous."

"I saved my girlfriends phone number as LOW BATTERY'. Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly."

"What is a vampires favorite drink? ."

"A man sued an airline for misplacing his luggage. He unfortunately lost his case."

"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"