164487

Joke of the Day

"Turned off autocorrect and I've never been happyer."

"CNN is running a spot called ""Why Tsumanis are Dangerous"". They should follow it with a spot on ""Why Journalism Is Dead""."

"Dark humor is like kids with cancer... Never gets old"

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? Because she thought everybody loved her."

"What weapons did the Romans use to fight the Carthaginians As-salt rifles"

"Boy: Dad Dad come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself."

"Last night I had an Ant on me... Okay, I guess she was more of a Cougar."

"A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel."

"I farted in church today..... I farted in church today and four people spun around in their seats and looked at me. I felt like I was on the Voice!"