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Joke of the Day

"To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts."

"How does a fetus like it's amniotic fluid? At womb temperature!"

"""<------------ people who don't want Ellen Pao to go."" --someone who's never getting to the front page"

"You know what jokes are the worst? Lesbian jokes. Those are for pussies."

"My mother is in the hospital... She's a nurse."

"What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene. What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other? Irene"

"I've really got into dating black chicks recently. Not because they take my fancy but I'm really bad at meeting the dad."

"Roofing... That's a bit over the top isn't it?"

"A toilet was stolen from my local police station. The cops said they had nothing to go on."

"People always say to do exercise, I do Breathing... Could I be more WORKING!"