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Joke of the Day

"My kids have already agreed to have me frozen. I just wish they'd wait until I'm dead."

"[being carried away by a colony of ants] haha nice let's see where this goes"

"How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour."

"It's weird that 'coward' doesn't mean ""towards a cow"". *sips wine*"

"Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward? Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"What does a redditor do after his picket fence is installed? He re-posts it."

"Have you ever worked in a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock."

"How many times can look at the sun with a telescope? You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!"

"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be a comedian"", well nobody's laughing now"