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Joke of the Day

"What is a chameleon's motto ? A change is as good as a rest !"

"I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."

"I'm obsessed with the earth It's like my whole world."

"Kim Kardashian getting 6 million dollars stolen is a lot like if I got the condom that's been in my wallet since I was 12 stolen... Am I gonna miss it? Yeah. Was I gonna use it? No."

"I never run with scissors Those last two words were unnecessary"

"When Jedi characters get divorced Do they call it deforced?"

"Potty training my twins is like the Titanic's maiden voyage... In the beginning we are excited, in the end everyone is crying and all wet."

"What's a bear's favorite fruit? Tom**ato**(**ms**). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug: /r/BearJokes"

"Did you hear about Pala Deans new restaurant? They only serve crackers!"

"[First Date] HER: I love dogs. ME: [Trying to impress her] Waiter, give us your finest Labrador - medium rare."