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Joke of the Day

"Kim Kardashian getting 6 million dollars stolen is a lot like if I got the condom that's been in my wallet since I was 12 stolen... Am I gonna miss it? Yeah. Was I gonna use it? No."

"Ali was great but he was not the greatest... The best boxer that ever lived was reverend Jim Jones. He killed over 900 people with one punch!"

"If your FB name includes your college degree initials, you are a douche..."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Peter, you've reposted that joke for over 8 years now, please stop flooding the subreddit with that."""

"I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers. EDIT: Thanks for the love. More people have upvoted this post than have died in the attacks."

"What do you call a little kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor."

"Always treat your woman like a princess, let a giant turtle kidnap her."

"My girlfriend said to me that she wanted me to tease her, so I said, ""All right, fatty."""

"Why is trigonometry so hard to talk about? You always end up going off onto tangents."

"You're 35 weeks pregnant and gonna make me do math?"