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Joke of the Day

"What does a gift and a black man have in common? White children get immense joy after tearing one open"

"""Here, drink this."" - Me speed dating."

"If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad"

"What did the farming professor say to his new students? ""Welcome to my field."""

"""Why is there music coming out of your printer?"" ""That will be the paper jamming again!"""

"Peter Jackson just found a postcard JRR Tolkien wrote his nephew in 1938. He's turning it into 22 nine-hour films."

"Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate."

"What do you call poppies from eastern Africa? Ethiopium"

"I booked a day trip to Svalbard in April! I get back in August."

"Opens a sperm bank that only accepts redheaded donors.... The Ginger Bred House."