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Joke of the Day

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"McDonalds could burn to the ground and I bet the fries would still be cold"

"I went to a disco last night... (mildly NSFW) They played The Twist, so I did the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen I got kicked out."

"Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more? He kept trying to shave the princess."

"Minecraft: Story Mode Nerdcubed did it better nearly half a decade sooner"

"When someone posts ""Hmmm. That was interesting..."" as their status on FB, I never ask what they're talking about because it never is."

"Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses."

"Went to shave my beard but decided not to, the longer I keep it, the more it grows on me. Sure this is old but actually thought this the other day."

"I'm going to make a list of my favorite sausages, brat to wurst."

"Cajun restaurants' food is so spicy... ...that you want to wash your hands before you use the bathroom."