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Joke of the Day

"How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes? (xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis)"

"Remember how in Lord of the Rings they slept out under the stars? It was pretense."

"Why the fuck did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays. Hahah get it? arrays(a raise?) No..? :("

"""Neighbor""- person next door ""Neigh! Brrrr!!"" - cold horse :("

"Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar."

"Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology."

"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Why did the priest go to the gym? For muscle mass. I thought of this one in the shower this morning."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? Some people are against shooting guns."

"An average person has sex 300 times a year. The next 10 days are gonna be sick."