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Joke of the Day

"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Where do Russian Spy's live? In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)"

"(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies? I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in"

"TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub."

"People who text back instantly. Keep it up, I like that sh1t."

"My mom always told me to be nice to the neighbors So I told my best friend to suck his own dick"

"Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not."

"Where did Mario and Luigi go to school? At 'Wass-a-matta U'"

"My dick hangs off to the left a bit. I guess you could say that it's a tiny bit cockeyed."

"Why was the African man wearing a wristwatch? He needed to hold up his pants."