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Joke of the Day

"Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology."

"My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked."

"How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates? It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content."

"My mood ring was recently stolen. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"Why is it dark in Skeletor's castle? Because He-Man has the power."

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"I have a joke about couches But it's sofa-cking terrible. You don't want to hear it."

"Communism jokes aren't funny Unless everyone gets them"

"IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all ""pffsh whatever I'm Ironman"" then he's all ""JARVIS HELP"" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat."

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta"