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Joke of the Day
"What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks"
Next Joke
"The doctor who performed my lobotomy operation did a lousy job. I have half a mind to tell him so."
"how to talk to a woman wearing headphones: 1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones"
"When I'm bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ""You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. PS: I love you."""
"What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes."
"Joined a street protest. Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running. 3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon"
"""I JUST WANT TO PUT A BABY IN YOU!"" -me, trying to put a crib together"
"Our wedding pic looks like my wife's selfie photo bombed by me."
"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."
"What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world? Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)"