70910

Joke of the Day

"how to talk to a woman wearing headphones: 1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones"

"Good Steak jokes are... A rare medium well done"

"Why was the Gungan sent back in time by the Weeping Angel? He Jar Jar Blinked."

"Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*"

"Jared Fogle's updated diet writes itself a Subway sandwich for breakfast, a Subway sandwich for lunch, and FUCKIN' CRAZY ASS 14 YEAR OLD COKE WHORES TILL DAWN!"

"He said he would call me at 5pm but didn't until 5.03pm. His lies will tear our relationship apart"

"What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"

"What do you call a disabled paedophile? A creepy crawler"

"Did you hear about the gay Irish Dentists? Ben Dover and Phil Mcavity!"

"Why can't some people help being born Chinese? Because there's nothing wong with it."