70910

Joke of the Day

"how to talk to a woman wearing headphones: 1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones"

"It's the time of year when we are forced to confront America's greatest tragedy: men wearing winter scarves way too early."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick."

"Two Condoms Two condoms walk by a gay bar. One says to the other, ""Let's go in here and get shit-faced."""

"Give a woman a compliment and you'll eat for a day. Force a woman to fish for compliments and she'll feed someone else."

"What do you call a Mexican woman who has no legs? Cunts way low"

"The groom upon his engagement went to his father and said ""I've found a woman just like mother!"" His father replied ""So what do you want from me sympathy?"""

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."

"Just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and was really disappointed... ...just looked at my ticket stub. It turns out the movie is called fantastic *beasts* and where to find them."

"You could very well be going to heaven but it won't be hell in hell without you!"