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Joke of the Day

"What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes."

"INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? SLOTH: *Points to another part of the building* Around there maybe"

"OH SHIT! I just ran over an emo kid! Quick! How do you tell if theyre dead on the outside, too?!"

"Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation And I've gotta say, it really shucks"

"Why didn't Jarred order the meatball sub? Because he didn't like the size of the meatballs."

"What's the worst part about being a black jew You have to stand in the back of the oven"

"They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa. It's called Genitalia."

"My son looks just like me. With his eyes. xpost to /r/dadjokes"

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain."

"What's a pedophile's favorite music scale? A minor"