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Joke of the Day

"Joined a street protest. Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running. 3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon"

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

"What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?"

"For the longest time I hated tumors.... but they are beginning to grow on me."

"What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth? Bubblegum"

"I highly recommend anything. - Stoners."

"Bought a new vacuum cleaner.. ..it sucks more than my old one"

"If you text ""Haiti"" to Pat Robertson's phone number, $10 will be deducted from his account and sent to Haiti."

"I can't wait for Kim Kardashian to get old"

"My 10 year old niece said her science teacher entered her in a science fair I said, call the police!"