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Joke of the Day

"When I'm bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ""You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. PS: I love you."""

"Sometimes taste is not a flavor, and class is not something you attend."

"You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's."

"What do gay horses eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

"New low: Looking in my purse and seeing my TV remote."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I did it again, I put way too much hairspray on my back hair, now I can't sleep."

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!"

"Hey girl, are you a grape? Because you are raisin my dick"

"If I can pick up your dog with one hand, congratulations you own a cat."