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Joke of the Day

"When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough."

"I think my life is a Saturday Night Live sketch. It began with promise, but now it's going nowhere and the last half sucks."

"What do you call a Jewish New Zealander? Hebrew"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion."

"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."

"What do you get when you cross a zebra with a flamingo? Some weeeeeeeird shit, man."

"Kylo Ren: We must find Luke Skywalker General Hux: Why? He won't fight & you don't need training. Kylo: He might have cool Vader souvenirs"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"

"What was the dentist's horrific gastronomical invention? Tartar sauce."

"An Airport goes to the Dr... And the Dr says, ""i have bad news. You have cancer."" The airport replies, ""oh no, what kind?"" ""Terminal."""