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Joke of the Day

"Why did the condom suddenly go flying across the room? Because he was pissed off."

"I don't mind if you tell me about the new diet you're on as long as you give me equal time to talk with you about my favorite doughnuts."

"I got caught masturbating recently, to a National Geographic magazine. I don't know who was more embarrassed me or my dentist."

"I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess."

"What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker."

"People in California be like Tree down walkway closed!"

"When is a woman wrong? As long as she is unmarried."

"Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals."

"What's the worst thing about a blackout? A shootout."

"Our teacher talks to herself does yours ? Yes but she does't realise it she thinks we're actually listening !"