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Joke of the Day

"My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne."

"TIL Today I learnt what TIL meant."

"So I tickled my little brothers feet this morning... ... my mom got pissed and told me to wait until he was born."

"Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer."

"What STD does a hip black man get? Kool-AIDs"

"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a Fe-Male, and the other's a woman in a power suit."

"Be to, or be not to, the question, that is. - Yoda does Hamlet"

"I'm still confused as to why I was arrested for stabbing the starbucks barista in the face when she didn't know what a large coffee was."

"For no other reason, you have to be impressed with Panera Bread for never introducing a Peter Panera character. Respect."