14889

Joke of the Day

"What is your favorite one or two line joke? (X-Post from AskReddit) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/32df3n/what_is_your_favorite_one_to_two_line_joke/ There were some funny jokes in there"

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We'll see about that."

"How to solve issues with life expectancy The doctor has given me four months to live. I shot the doctor, The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved"

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."

"What's the difference between me and an egg? Eggs get laid."

"TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd"

"What do you call a closet full of lesbians? A liquor cabinet."

"My two year old nephew, though adorable, is a pretty violent drunk."

"In mother Russia..... .... Joke is you."

"What does 80 year-old pussy taste like? Depends..."