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Joke of the Day

"What did the pilot say to the Vietnamese mechanic underneath the plane? "" ""You are the Nguyen beneath my wings"""

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"What is the difference between an abusive relationship and The Chainsmokers ? Nothing, The hits keep coming"
"What do whores and sailors have in common? They are both always surrounded by sea - men! I made up this one."
"What's the politically correct term for a swingers party in Alabama? A lynching."
"So Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table, and then a stool."
"TIFU Now the disc is not playable."
"I can not stand the new style with hip hop music, they say one word then repeat it a dozen times. It is so freakin annoying and lame lame lame lame lame."
"I broke up with her... Her name was ""anti gravity"" and she would never ""go down"" on me."
"""I have a coupon for a large 2 topping"" ""What toppings?"" ""Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza"" ""Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"""
"I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""Haha good one!"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap"