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Joke of the Day

"What do whores and sailors have in common? They are both always surrounded by sea - men! I made up this one."

"What's a lumberjack's favorite director? TimBuuurrrrrrrton"

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick"

"What did the little Iraqi girl tell her father after he bought her a new backpack? Thanks for the Baghdad."

"Have you guys heard what kind of oil Fort McMurray is into these days? Turmoil"

"Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50"

"A horse covered in floaties gallops happily toward a swimmin pool. He sees a sign ""NO HORSEPLAY"" He lowers his head ""Ok"" & sadly trots away"

"What's Mario's favorite fruit? Peach."

"When Hugh Hefner dies I don't think people will say he's in a better place."

"Two pretzels were walking down the street hand in hand. One was a salted. Did the other one come plain?"