227609

Joke of the Day

"Porn is so unrealistic. There's no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice."

"What does a North Korean ricochet sound like? PYONG! YANG!"

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."

"My husband believes my greatest accomplishment... is his last name."

"Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."

"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my fucking eye out."

"It might be hard for your audience to link them together. Coming up with Zelda jokes can be difucult, but you shouldn't try to force it."

"Why can't you trick an aborted fetus? It wasn't born yesterday"

"If I could travel back in time I wouldn't kill Hitler, but I would write him a scathing book review called 'Mein Kampffft."""

"So... a dyslexic man walks into a bra."