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Joke of the Day

"The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!"

"How often do I see alligators? Ocajunally"

"How do Russians put windows in? Putin Windows duh."

"""On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge."" - my advice to new teachers"

"How is a man like a snowstorm? You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last."

"What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable? Neigh-bours."

"Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch."

"I got a tattoo on my penis that just says ""OK"" But when I see your sister it says ""OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY"""

"The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth."

"""We don't serve time travellers here"" said the bartender... ""We don't serve time travellers here"" said the bartender. A time traveller walks into a bar."