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Joke of the Day

"I got a tattoo on my penis that just says ""OK"" But when I see your sister it says ""OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY"""

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat."

"When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along."

"life is like a box of chocolates: it kills dogs"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding I'm not going to be that guy"

"I'd have sex with you but I'm married... and she's staring at us right now... quick she looked away!"

"Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word ""bae"" will be sterilized."

"Never Trust an Atom. They make up everything!"

"[NSFW] What do you get when turn three blondes upside down? Two brunettes and a red-head."

"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"