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Joke of the Day

"How is a man like a snowstorm? You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last."

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"I just ran into my barber on the street. He asked me how I liked the haircut he gave me last week. I told him it's growing on me."

"Im going to make a joke about Polish people They're shiny"

"Good news, The doctor says I'm health as a horse. Bad news, she keeps using large farm animals to describe me."

"Q. Why did the blonde write ""TGIF"" on her shoes? A. To remind her that ""toes go in first."""

"Muhammad Ali walks into a bar So Muhammad Ali walks into a bar and orders a drink. He gives the bartender ceramic money. The Bartender says ""I can't accept this your Cash Is Clay"""

"I didn't fail my calculus test.... I just gave ""alternative"" answers on a few problems."

"The next person to show me that dress... ...is gonna get a white and gold eye."

"My Dog voilet Rules My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."